Our History, Our Heritage: Embracing our Origin for a Prosperous Future

“Knock,............knock,................................knock………………….. knock!”

Before we could even respond to the robust knock on the door, it gave way. As the door slowly curved in, a huge chisel-shaped human figure that almost scared the life out of us was appearing. For a   minute I held tightly on my grandmother’s left leg. I’m sure she might have been shaken by my cowardly act than by the monster of a figure at our kitchen door. 

photo courtesy of ancestral voices 

This was not an everyday occurrence that someone would appear from nowhere, unannounced just when my grandmother’s tales had taken the life out of our playful nights. However, this time it was not only a surprise but also one of those moments that stuck with you for half a century of your life. Mambo Jogu, had travelled miles on foot as he made his way to Katongu village after years of isolation in the far hills of Kiambogo. One of my late grandfather’s kinsmen, he was sentenced to years of tumultuous exile, despite the generous sacrifices and pleadings of my grandfather concerning his innocence.

Mambo Jogu, or simply MJ had years ago defied his forefathers deeply held traditions by ignoring the summons of the Njamba Noru (council of elders) after his heinous acts of impunity. To the ridicule of many, MJ was sentenced to exile for 40 harvest seasons (translated to 20 years) and was required never to be seen in the vicinity of Katongu until the years had elapsed. As a consequence of defying this order, his head would be presented to as a sacrifice to appease the ancestors. MJ had no choice than to honor his day in court rather than face his ancestors.  Nonetheless the village was not devoid of such acts. What was not clear is why the kinsmen of Katongu had seen it fit to send one of its brave men into wilderness.

“Ariririririririiii riiii riiii” my grandmother’s joy was beyond belief. I have never seen her being overwhelmed like this before.

We all jumped on our feet and stampeded to the door almost crushing my grandmother’s cherished gourd that stored last night’s brew.

“CHILDREN, CHILDREN…. Watch your steps or I will send you to sleep” (This sent a chill down our spine knowing how true she was to her words.)

Though it sounded a bit harsh at the moment as most of us were acting out of our own will as everyone was caught by surprise, obedience was called for without second thoughts. In a short while MJ was settled and clutching a mug of Granma’s porridge unperturbed, his face betraying the emotions we all had amassed since he stepped in.

The unfolding events in the last couple of minutes imbibed into my thoughts as if the concentration substrate had conspired to cause a PH imbalance. As I sat still, my palms sunk in my cheeks as if to deflate the last traces of air from within. It had never occurred to me before how the face of cruelty could turn its wrath on its son till this moment. They had come to witness one of its sons, go through the wrath of this deeply held traditions. For once, I was lost for words as to where did such repulsive customs originate from. However, it must never go unsaid that this same culture had made heroes celebrated worldwide as well as labeled the bravest of men’s as cowards.

No matter how inquisitive I was no woman or man in the village of Katongo had acquired the

photo courtesy of www.intrepidtravel.com

courage to satisfy my thirst for answers. They all seemed surprised of my braveness to question these beliefs of their claimed gods. Since then I came to understand the origin of my clan’s cautiousness. Everyone seemed not to exercise some criticism to the traditions, taboos, and all the tribe’s does and don’ts. However, I appreciated their continued perceptions of those that dared to break away from this culture in pursuit of their beliefs. It might have been a taboo to break away from what seemed to have become a norm. How fortunate were my kinsmen that they had lived in tandem with all the mysteries surrounding them without having to question their origin.

In view of the world order today, I see my kinsmen spread far and wide; they have mastered the art of all nations, both in language and cultures. Their interactions with the nations are evidenced by their intermarriages and multilingual skills. Nothing has come close to what MJ epitomized. We have become accustomed to the adventures of our thinking not the mere dictations of our kin. We endeavor to make our lives and those of our children better than our forefathers. We embody the human spirit that depicts struggles and success alike without the deceitfulness of our toils. In as much as the world has washed our history in a bid to blacken the mystery that surrounds our origin, nothing seems to defeat the fact that we have deep roots in our conservative myths and traditions.

Let it be told that our forefathers struggled to defend their origin; they sacrificed their toils for the sake of our future. Midst the race struggles they defeated the devil. They stood aloof of the fact that theirs was a fight in vain. Today we can never be wished away just because they sought to gain a true identity. They unmasked and risked to face a bitter backlash from the rest of the world, who thought they never mattered.

c/o www.nanaimoafricanheritagesociety.com

Although we may not be in agreement with some of their atrocious deeds, we seem confident theirs was a worthy course. One that has made us who we are and has continued to raise more mystery than history can behold. We are because they were, we shine because they persevered, and we progress because they digressed from the norm. Our forefathers lived according to what was their source of heritage, whether we term it archaic or backward. Their customs, taboos, and traditions were a testimony of their existence. Recognition that they were present before us, their existence is an attestation of our origin.

Therefore, as we celebrate the BLACK HISTORY MONTH let us be humbled by our forefathers’ acts of courage to stand put against the currents of the world. Let us embrace the culture that unites us, and preserve that which identifies us. We should remember that we are a race that should embrace each other in DEEDS and in SPIRIT. Our unity should not be a coincidence but that which was intended by our forefathers. We should not be quick to condemn those among us who stand robust of their culture in mind. However, our conscience should befit that of a hero in times of war, to stand and defend our common identity. We are yet to achieve that which we are, as we work twice as hard to access our endowments.

Let us embrace each other and live knowing that our entitlement is not a silver platter but a conscious will to overcome the hurdles that our forefathers fought to standby. Just as Mambo J. understood the heinous acts of his kinsmen and obeyed without an atom of bereavement despite a life devoid of tranquility. I urge you all to learn the art of embrace and forge forward with humility to claim that which you are entitled. The Kingship is ours, where, OUR HISTORY IS OUR HERITAGE. 

William Murithi, © 2014

AN OPEN LETTER TO THE GRADUATING CLASS 2014: THE INCONCEIVABLE REALITIES ABOUT LIFE AND THE REAL WORLD.

Dear Graduates,

First of all, I take this opportunity to congratulate you all from the bottom of my heart on this grand occasion that marks a great milestone in your lives.

It is said that there are two days in a man’s life that really matter, the day you are BORN, and the day you discover WHY?  Therefore, don’t rest until you discover why you were born? After which you will make your day of birth worthwhile by living your God-given purpose here on earth without regrets.

Secondly, I personally agree that it is no mean fit to survive in confines of the ‘academic prison’ and emerge worthy of honor. Therefore, I understand the hastiness to depart. However, I will be quick to remind you that the end of one thing signifies the beginning of another. As you celebrate, eat and drink the much you can, dance and be jubilant as much as possible, rejoice and give thanks too and of course pocket as much notes and coins as you receive. But remember, indeed today is just but a beginning for your next encounter.

Thirdly, I understand many of you have deeply persevered to this day; some have revered this university, others have loathed and smeared this very institution that you have called your dwelling place for the last couple of years.  And many others can’t wait to kiss this ANU goodbye. For the few that wish they had more time here, bless you, we shall soon see each other often.

Nevertheless, truth be told, don’t be quick to dishonor, or curse or even demean your Alma Mata, for this institution will forever be stamped on your forehead. The fact of the matter is you will either miss it or wish you had used your time efficiently when you were here. Remember? The friends and foes, happy and sad moments, those laughter-filled and tearful days, the painful and gainful periods that you have experienced here will forever be embellished in your memories.

Finally, close to two years ago, we sat where you are seated. We were filled with excitement just like you. We felt we had conquered just as you feel now. And above all, those feelings came with a sense of achievement. However, there are some things I hope we had known earlier than we did. Please understand, I do not mean to steal joy from you or be the bearer of sad news this very significant day of your life.

All I want to do is let you into a little secret to surviving, a day, maybe a week or a month or the next couple of years of your life in this world. So I beg you, in the name of our Lord, if there is anything else you will take with you from this day other than “The Powers to Read and Write”, I beseech you take these words with you.

1.      Although, you have achieved your degree with honors (Phi Delta Labda) know that “THE WORLD OWES YOU NOTHING”. In fact you are a nuisance as you keep on threatening its existence with your presence. You are guaranteed nothing, so be prepared to work hard to succeed. To compete with an ever increasing list of unemployed graduates for the almost extinct Job opportunities. Therefore, hard work, networking and simply working diligently is the only key to succeed.

2.      The world outside the confines of the university is harsh. REJECTION IS REAL AND SO IS UNEMPLOYMENT. You will be rejected several times, in some cases judged by the look of your resume. Thus ensure you grow a thick skin and always stand out from the rest of the crowd, from your resume, to your personality, to your character, every little detail about you should set you apart in order to get the chance you desire; to be heard.

3.      Know that WHAT YOU CAN POTENTIALLY ACHIEVE IS MORE VALUABLE THAN WHAT YOU HAVE ALREADY ACHIEVED. Always present yourself as W.I.P (Work in Progress) rather than a finished product. You will be offered many opportunities simply based on your willingness to learn and potential to grow than your already acquired (or is it crammed?) knowledge and skills.

4.      Approximately, know that IT TAKES ABOUT 6 MONTHS BEFORE YOU CAN GET YOUR FIRST JOB. So I urge you to always wear your armor of  3 P’s -Perseverance, Persistence, and Positiveness conjoined with the 3C’s – which you are well accustomed of now, Character, Competence and Community. Consider volunteering, starting your own business and even furthering your studies. You will need to be realistic and at the same time hopeful to succeed in getting the job you need. As Zig Ziglar puts it “The door to balanced success opens widest on the hinges of HOPE and ENCOURAGEMENT”.

5.      When you are young, YOU WORK TO LEARN NOT TO EARN. I know most of you will most likely be choosier based on financial gain, or will get into fields that you have not trained for. Be it sales, casual work, or data entry. My advice, do not decline any reasonable offer; the skills you gain will be valuable in your career progression. The small setbacks might be actually a set up for a better opportunity so be wise.

6.      I urge you to seek OPPORTUNITIES TO DEVELOP YOUR SKILLS, KNOWLEDGE AND TALENTS, USE YOUR TIME FOR CONSTRUCTIVE ACTIVITIES. Read those books you have put aside over the years, learn a new language, or learn to play an instrument. Just make sure you are not idol, as they say an idle mind is a devils workshop. Don’t leave room for negativity, regrets, insanity, or even vices to crop into your life. Moreover, I borrow Bob Marley’s words “…..don’t worry about a thing as everything is going to be alright”.

7.      Remember REAL CHANGE REQUIRES REAL CHANGE. It never goes unsaid that a lot will change from this day henceforth. You will need to plan your time, develop your skills on your own, take control of your career, and pay your own bills. As almost everyone seems resistant to change, you must accept change. After all during your time at the university I believe you have been prepared well and acquired characteristics necessary for success as long as you can recognize, develop and use them.

8.      In whatever you decide to do with your life, be it setting up your own business, getting married or even changing your course, DON’T BE DISTRACTED BY CRITICISM. I want you to remember that, the only taste of success that some people (critics) will ever have is when they take a bite out of you. Therefore, don’t allow the mosquito like-minded individuals to distract you from realizing your dreams. As much as you have a choice to listen to them discern and separate the wheat from the churn and make your time worthwhile.

Above all, P.G.F PUT GOD FIRST, because God has declared that he has the best plans for you. Endeavor to align your goals and dreams with his will. When you do this you will never go wrong as he will order the steps you take and help you not to veer away from your path.  Human beings perish for lack of knowledge, ensure you don’t parish because you have chosen to be ignorant. Let God be your GUIDE, the Holy Spirit be your Helper and the Bible your Source of Knowledge.

Dear graduates, today is your day, thus I have no choice rather than to let you go ahead with your celebrations. You will hear a lot of things from every nook and crack, wise and unwise, fallacies and anecdotes or hilarious and depressing, that is life.  But at the end of the day, or the beginning of the week come Monday, reality will hit hard like a thunderous headache. The choices you make there henceforth will be vital in your success in years to come and in future.  Thus, I will urge you to be diligent and do not get into a comfort zone. You will be judged harshly by the community if you don’t fulfill your mandate.

Remember you are the envy of your PEERS, the pride of your PARENTS, the hero of your VILLAGE and above all, the hope of our NATION.

Without further ado, I rest my case and hope my two pence advice will at least help you discover the right purpose and compass to find your direction in Life.

HURAAAAAAAAAAAY…… let me be the first to WELCOME YOU ALL TO THE ANU Alumni Association…………. Once again CONGRATULATIONS. 

Yours sincerely,

A Mere Citizen of our beloved Nation and Self-declared Spokesperson of the REAL WORLD

William Murithi

© 2014

AN OPEN LETTER TO MY LANDLORD: MY SALARY IS MINE NOT YOURS, AS THE MAJORITY SHAREHOLDER

 Dear my Good Landlord,

I send many greetings from the confines of my humble dwelling. Today I had no other choice than to write you this letter after receiving your eviction notice fourth time in 2 months. Although,   I must say that I'm very tired as a fat pig waiting to be slaughtered. Honestly, by the time I got home I could not even swallow last night’s leftovers. Despite the fact that it was meatless, the food was almost stale as electricity was disconnected last week. But I had to eat just to get energy to write you this letter. I'm tired of your shenanigan evictions. 

This is the only plan that is left to ensure I do not take myself to Mental Hospital by next week. I’m sure you will accept my request as you will be the most affected on my list of creditors apart from Otieno, Ijioma and Wakithomo.  Doctor, honorable, reverend landlord, I have thought hard on how to escape from my creditors, you included. I have now devised a plan, to fake mental insanity. Yes, the main reason to cling to a mental illness will be mainly to enchant the judges so that your threats to take me to jail because you are friend with Inspector Kimeu will bear no fruits. I would rather live in the confines of a mental facility than see the inside of jail with my eyes, not even in my coffin.

As you know very well the month is at the corner, on the last 200 meters of what seems to have been a 42 km marathon with steeplechase combined. I know you are aware that my meager peanut of a salary is soon coming. That is because you are friends with Waithera my bosses’ secretary. I used the word friends, just to make this easier for us. But the truth is not far from my eyes. In fact, I know about the secret rendezvous you have been having with her. You know Waites, as we call her in the office, doesn’t know how to keep secrets. Also, her technical ineptness makes her forward your messages accidentally to Njaro, driver wa Kamwana. So for your information I have reliable evidence but because I am a good tenant, I will protect your interest if you protect mine too. Anyway I’m suffering my brother, my eyes have heard no positive news nor did my ears witness any peace.

My friend, this last two weeks have been hell on earth for me. You remember my neighbor Kamau, he has threatened to hire those shaggy looking men called Mungiki from his home Muranga to lay ambush on me and dethrone my head from its place. I made a terrible mistake when I borrowed him KES 125.50 last week to buy a quarter of a quarter KG of meat and a gororo of unga after mama Boi threatened to leave for the village and leave me with our five children. My goodness, everybody In our plot knows about this. I have to sneak into my own house so that Kamau does not embarrass me mbele ya watoto kwa plot. Not forgetting that I change my route every journey as I fear that he has already hired those mean Mungiki men. Surely, Mboss, if it were you what would you have done?

I will not forget Otieno, I hear his friends call him Man-Oti –s with swagga, eeeeeh, I think it’s because the guy akona MANOTI. Every week I come home I see a new model of car parked outside his house bwana. Hapana, not just any model of car, it is either sijui Mercedes S-class, Jaguar, Range Rover, Sijui Bentley, bwana kwani does MAN-OTIS play for Arsenal Football club. I hear he jets out of the country using a concord every weekend Arsenal is playing and comes back Monday morning. Yesoooo, what did I do to you. Anyway, that is not the problem; in fact that is the easiest part. The major problem is that Man-Otis has those hands we call “Mikono ya Birika”

No matter how hard you try to convince him to lend you money, even KES 1,000 ONLY without interest, he will not. In fact, he charges you 50% interest instead. Now you wonder, will I work to pay Otis or will I pay you.  However, Otis is wise; although I owe him KES 2,709 he managed to blackmail me to give him my Samsung Fridge as security. I have tirelessly begged him to return it so that I can keep my food Isharibike but it looks like ameauza tayari. For you, I’m sorry you did not tell me to give you security.  Thus, you will lose all the money I owe you unless you accept what I will offer as I look for the balance to pay you.

About Nnenne Ijioma, that woman has well- nourished calabash shaped body. She is a pretty African woman I tell you. When I met her I was moving from neck to toe but frozen from the chin upwards, yaani niling’ethia nikimwangalia hata na akili (gazed looking at her even with my brain). It took me several months and a few thousands millions shillings from my account before I convinced her to date me. You know she comes from Nigeria now, she go came from Niger delta, Ibo state where oil de come from. They diga diga Oil for Monie, and go make more monie from de yams. When I learned that her father owns one of the oil well in Niger Delta, there and then I fell down with love. I saw millions of dollars with my poor eyesight imaginations.

Ijioma, the queen of my throne, the sweet yam, made me borrow millions from my bank just to spend on her. You know they say those who spend more monie make monie, as in you use monie to make monie, eeeeheeehhh. I spent millions to spoil this MOMO of a woman. My kikuyu instincts told me I was making good investments. They convinced me that I would marry my Queen Ijioma, to be the MOMO of my ten children. Goodness forbid, she is the reason I’m writing this letter today, by the time I discovered  she was not from Ibo state, nor was her father an owner of an oil well. In fact the closest her father had come to a well was digging his father’s grave. She had milked me and left me for dead. I thank God I survived, devil be a liar ooooh.  

The reason she will not suffer from myself induced insanity (yaani wendawazimu) is that she loathes me for spoiling her engagement to Mzee Taabu. I had to tell Mzee Taabu the kind of woman she was. In fact she had connived to send him straight to his grave the moment they got married. She had hatched a plan of killing him by seducing the old mzee. That man would have got a heart attack from an adrenaline flow of his blood from the heart to his manhood. Once he saw the natural clothe of that woman. I know she will even dance on top of my grave when I die.  Therefore, I hope you will help me to help you.

Then comes Wakithomo, that man that lives in the next prot ya mama Kipkoech. He always walks with his head covered in a white sheet. Sometimes I wonder whether he is hiding his receding hair line. Other times I think he is not man enough to take a comb and comb his hair. Maybe he will tell me. Now, I always borrow Wakithomo mbeca, he is very kind to me. In fact, the last money I paid for my last year’s rent balance, I got from him. He is very generous. I think he is good because he is a pastor. He collects all the tithe and offering in his church. I hear he is the one who even counts it.

The only problem with Wakithomo is one. He does not like it when I miss to attend a service. He even calls and sends several sms to remind me to give my tithe, which I give generously because he says that God is seeing me. That he will reward me with the same measure I give him. Therefore, I decided to give double my tithe so that I get double portion back. That is 4 times the amount I should give. No don’t be too happy, I am still waiting to hear from god. I think I sinned or something like that. It has been several years without getting a reply. Maybe it’s because I have not registered for an email. The replies keep bouncing back as he cannot communicate with me. I will send Wakithomo this month to help me convince him. I will be willing to ask him a favor for you. That is only when you agree to help me to help you.

Now, the major reason I write this letter is that as you are looking forward to get your money so I’m I. With that very anticipation I await my salary, that peanuts one. You know, sometimes I wonder why they have to keep my salary till the end of the month whilst YOU demand I pay my rent in advance. Why, can’t I pay my rent at the end of the month? That way I will be able to appraise whether I enjoyed my time in your house. I would have to deduct from your dues for things I didn’t like. For instance, noise disturbance allowance, delay in opening the gate due to watchman sleeping habits, sewage blockage etc. You know my boss deducts me lateness fee, tax, NHIF, NSSF, TGIF, LMFAO etc.

No wonder you don’t even care when we tell you our drainage blocked, or the watchman is rude. I will call a Plot 10 meeting to discuss this, according to the new constitution dispensation, Ni Haki Yetu. As I had said earlier I will have trouble paying next month’s rent and other arrears I owe you. I write to warn you in advance. This month I have worked hard so I think I will reward myself very hard as well. So as evidence on how I plan to spend my money, yes I said it, it is my money not yours, see attached. 

I will pay myself 51% of my salary first, as the major shareholder, which will mostly go to entertaining me to reward this body that has worked hard. 15% will go to mama Boi for food. I will pay 7% utility bills kwanza so that power and water is no disconnected again, and then I will give Wakithome 13%. Finally, I will give you the rest. I insist this letter is between me and you, and I warn you THIS IS ABSOLUTELY PRIVATE, IF YOU LEAK THIS TO MAMA MBOGA, WAKITHOMA AMA MAMA BOI, I will sue you.

After you read this letter, I will continue staying in your house without disturbance. I have known your tricks now. You always want to have my money even before I can enjoy it. You will not continue to enjoy my money and I have not enjoyed the house. From now henceforth I will pay you at the end of the month. That’s when I’m paid. I don’t do business like Man-Otis or Mama  mboga, or even Wakithomo.  Also, I don’t circumvent the men’s wallets like Ijioma does. For me I work diligently then I wait patiently for my money at the end of the month. Therefore I know you will understand. You help me I help you. Remember I know what you have been doing with Waites, and you know my wife and yours are friends. I could finish you with lighting a small fire in my bedroom.

Thank you for understanding.

Yours faithful and sincere tenant,

KK

THE PAIN OF LOSING SOMEONE YOU LOVED, THE LOVER OF YOUR LIFE

What a start to a Morning-when sad news beckons at your door.

I woke up to the voice of my mum. We had a chat though got both good News, Congratulations cousin for your baby boy, and bad news of the passing on of a relative. However, am grateful for his mercies endures forever. It is sort of a mixed emotion, as it is always awesome to welcome a new soul to this would it is equally a hard fact to accept the departure of a loved one. 

The paining of losing someone you love is real. Most so your loved one, the apple of your life. The love of your world. I am in pain, deeply wounded. God give me strength to overcome your impending departure.

It never stopped there, as i left my house this morning, I came face to face with the worst ever saddest news. For a period of 2 years now, I have held, caressed, hugged, protected and almost the most amazing person in my live. I never thought I will see you this broken to pieces. I never imagine of you ever leaving me. In fact I have dreaded the moment I will have to say good bye to you.

This person has been the most trusted, loving, loyal and above all motivator for the last 2 years. She has made me realise how handsome, caring and attached I can be. She even made me realise that I can love without expecting to be loved back, give without questioning and has made me keep in touch with my loved ones and all that I have met.

She has been my source of knowledge, my only password to the deepest of my secrets, she knows me inside out, the lies, the sincerity, the humility and the humour I have. She has tolerated my unkindness,my unfaithfulness, my poverty, my inadequateness, my rudeness and my jealousness all those 2 year. Above all, she has loved me with all this inadequateness and without ever complaining. Even when she does, she has done that in the deepest of secrecy to date.

I have always wondered, how we met, how she came to love me this much. Every time, i cant really tell how we exactly have survived all those years. I cant Imagine what life s going to be without her. How do I bring myself to even love another soul like I love you. How do I snatch my heart, and deprive you the love and memories we have shared.

I remember, when we first met, my feet were swept away by your beauty. Not only from the outside but from the the inside as well. Your curves, your face, your power to withstand and operate, and process everything I asked you to do. Without even questioning my intention. Imean what more can a man ask from his love. The first few days I spent holding you, caressing your face, hugging, kissing you, ooops, even when you had asked me to be slow with things. I even made delicacies meals just for you to see what skiils i got. I offered you the best wine, juices and drinks I could find. All to make you drunk with my love.

I am never one to talk a lot, but the thought of losing you can turn me into a type writer. I feeling like telling the world what we have gone through, through riches and in poverty, sadness and happiness, laughter and tears, in sicknes and in health. Ours have been a relationship that the world will envy. I will tell them of moment when i almost broke my limbs dashing across the room to resuscitate you because you before you lost your breathe, the moments when I will threaten to kill anyone because i could not trace you, the chills you sent through my body when I felt your touch, the smile I had when you came calling, and the adrenaline that fell on me when I had left without you.

How will i deal with these emotions, who will understand me as you did, who will even provide me with support, information and an outlet for me to be the best I can without complaining. Who will remind me that i need to speak to my family, friends, and even enemies. You have made me forgive many people as well as find my lost friends. You have been my number one supporter in my live.

I think even God might have notices and been jealous of our relationship. I remember all those times I have cut short my prayers, or even sneaked out of church to see you, missed a lot of sermons to spend time with you. I almost worship you one time but you quickly reminded me that you are with me because God let me have you. You told me to Love god first, then our love will blossom.

That was the first ever real wisdom I have come across beside that of Solomon in the bible. You have even carried a free copy of the bible just in case I needed to refer to it, or I needed some encouragement. My God, if only you can save this great she, I will forever be your servant. But if you still decide its time for her to leave, then I will accept it. because i know you will help me find someone who can at least give me 50% of what she had done.

I hope I will one day understand the reason why you have to leave. There is a lot I had planned for us. To travel the world with you, to make as many babies as possible, to care and nurture our loved ones. Even though you had no womb, I had hope we could get kids. I mean sarah Had a baby boy when she was 90 years, King Melchezedech was added extra 15 year on top of his life. Why can't God have mercy and grant yu even 15 days so that I could give you more of my love, spent more time adoring you.

Right now, nothing is far from the truth. It is painful to loose someone you love, It is inconceivable to know that you will never see, hear, or touch your loved ones when they depart. The though of a day without you in my life makes me want to die with you. The anger I feel can make me single handedly destroy the whole US Marine Army, Commando style, why Lie. I will do anything to see you regain your strength, your shape, your smile, your vigour, your beauty, honey, name it and you have it, your wish is my command.

It really pains when your loved one is hurting and you can not help them. That they are shattered in pieces but you cannot you cannot glue them back to their original self. That they are dying and you cannot give them your life. That, exactly that is what am going through. I hold on to my faith, that you will not die on me, That you will live a bit longer, that you will stay until I can find a replacement.

Though I know your days are numbered I will be hopeful. I still have a few days with you. So I know I have a chance to make the days to come count. I will narrate to you stories. I will never leave your bed i will never let you sleep alone. I will forever be grateful for your love, our memories and you presence in my life.

I have written in this letter IN LOVING MEMORY of you.

R. I. P my ONE, and only, Hate iT or Conquer, you brought SENSE in my life. I will miss you.

Your loving caring and forever grateful Lover.

Signed William Moore

7 Ways of Embracing the Art of Decision Making, Through my Eyes

Greetings my friends and foes alike, I hope that all is well and you have prospered in at least an area in your life that has brought you closer to achieving your goals in life. It has been a while since I last posted an article on this blog.

I have had a rather fulfilling experience for the last eight months that has enabled me to learn great lessons in life. As I advance in age so do my years of experience double up on earth. What is weird though is the rather intersect of possibilities and probabilities of what could happen in a period of time, in the short-term or long-term. Not so long ago, I was considering my next move after a fulfilling year abroad studying for my MSc. As flourishing as it looked, I was hard pressed to resolve and strategize on my next step. In the process of figuring out what to do, as always I was busy searching for possible opportunities in the industry as well as furthering my studies.  All in all, I can say after days of grilling myself I have come to appreciate the process of decision making. I have not done this once, twice but many times, and every time I have had to make a decision I do so with a lot of considerations and inquiries.

Owe unto me, my self-proclaimed perfectionist and optimistic nature have come to terrorize my sober mindedness and placed me into collusion with my heart’s desires so many times that I wonder if I’m a time bomb waiting to explode any time. Occasionally life if not fate-of which I disagree with surrendering your destiny to either- throws to you a few challenges and opportunities alike to test either your determination or resolve to stay the course of your purpose. To my attestation I couldn’t agree more as my resolve, patience and above all focus has been tested a number of times. To borrow from my belief there is no testimony without a test, or success without an exam, or a champion without a race or a winner without a challenge and the list can go on and on. However, what I’m grateful about is that at the end of the tunnel I have seen some light which has acted as my foresight into the future steps.

In a midst of all my ups and downs, experiences and successes I would like to share some of my acquired beliefs when it comes to making decisions in life. From as easy as getting that new pair of shoes, what course to study and even that marriage proposal, you might or will need to think of this.

1.    Never use People Instead use Things,

Looking back to where my journey begun I cannot trace it to a single action but a series of tried and failed actions that made me resilient (some say am stubborn). I have consistently searched for opportunities and sometimes never shy away from expressing my future desires. What this has actually enabled me to be proactive, consistent, and finally be on the driver’s seat when it comes to my future. Though it has not been all smooth I appreciate the fact that I took charge of my destiny and whether I succeed or not I will never blame anyone or regret an ounce. Also, I haven’t been devoid of spectacle as I have rubbed some shoulders the wrong way and even been threatened to some extent but all in all I have humbly acknowledged my mistakes and asked for forgiveness where I overstepped my mandate. Note that, whatever works for you go for it but consider other peoples’ feelings. As much as you want something ever use people to get what you want, instead use things, knowledge, your mind and resources to accomplish your mission. 

2.      Create opportunities don’t give in to fate

Always I have been determined to create as many opportunities as possible so that when it comes to making a choice at least I can have the upper hand of choosing what is aligned with my career not the other way round. Someone said if you don’t work to achieve your dreams someone else will hire you to help them fulfill theirs. Besides that, ensure that you don’t succumb to fate but rather be the force that determines your destiny. If the late Mandela would have let fate take its course then he would have rotten in prison and long forgotten to fate. However, he steadfastly continued to be on the driver’s seat inside the four walled prison and made choices that enabled him overcome the changes to prepare him reach his destination. Fate occurs to the masses that surrender their self-determination to the mean face of their myopic environmental circumstances. I urge you to look beyond what your eyes can see and create deep desires within to overcome your prevailing circumstances and focus on what you are capable of achieving rather than what life dictates to you. For sure, you are the determiner of your destiny.

3.      Engage your brain-THINK!

One of the biggest catastrophes for humans is to have a powerful organ at our disposal but not use it when it is much needed. We possess the most powerful and progressive organ called the brain.  This is what gives us human beings, an upper hand in comparison to other animals. However, in as much as most people go to school for years in the name of acquiring knowledge and skills majority never put it into use. I believe the brain has the greatest ability to enable us to achieve our goals. One Dennis Okari, founder and CEO ONFON media challenged us to set aside at least an hour of our time a week to “THINK”. You would probably ask yourself why? I believe, people who utilize their God given resource- THE BRAIN- which has a wealth of knowledge and information, whether stored as data (in it raw form) or processed information, will always be ahead of the game. From the great Isaac Newton, Eistein to the likes of Bill Gates, Richard Branson and the likes, thinking is paramount, second to breathing or eating. Therefore, I beseech you to always engage your brain and make good use of the information, knowledge and experience that is stored in it to navigate to your destiny

4.      Always endeavor to dream whilst awake, not asleep.

While most people dream when asleep I enjoy dreaming when fully awake, no not daydreaming. I am an advocate and believer of dreaming while fully awake and not dead asleep in the middle of nowhere. Have you ever wondered why most people don’t remember what they dreamt about minutes after waking up from a dream? There can only be one reason, because the dreams meant nothing to them, unless it was from a higher being. Thus, my premise that if you have to dream make sure you do that while you are wide awake, that way you will remember your dreams and work out on a strategy to achieve your dreams as fast as possible. I always purpose to dream while am awake not asleep.

5.      Seek wise counsel, and then decide

One thing that is weird about me is the ability to exhaust all avenues of possibilities or/and get as much information as possible when making my decisions. My inquisitiveness is a bit stretched to the extent of before answering questions I always seek clarification as to what exactly is required. I have been faced with a catch 22 situation before as to very critical stages on deciding on the next move. Once I remember I had a good job offer with my dream firm as well as a great opportunity to further my studies abroad. In a midst of the sleepless nights this gave me I sought guidance, opinions and possible answers to my crossroad from friends, family, mentors, acquaintances and strangers alike, people who I met for the first time. Someone would call be naïve but looking back now I am grateful for I got honest and objective advice from my inquisitiveness. Therefore, when faced with a hard decision to make seek as much counsel and information as possible before making that big step. However, it will be up to you to analyze, critic and chose what to adopt when making that decision. You should never blame anyone for their advice or opinions which you have willingly sought from them, after all the bark stops with you.

6.      Draw a Boundary Between Selfishness and Selflessness

To some extent I have had to be very selfish when making decisions or choosing what to do. This has been to the extent of letting go people and relationships that have meant a lot to me. However, it is also worth noting I did this to protect or allow them to make decisions that will be of benefit to their future and not tied to mine. As much as to some extent I’m egocentric, I always think of most of the people who have surrounded me. Once, I consciously choose not to allow distractions emanating from family interfere with my focus. It was hard to do it, but I understood well that as human beings we make choices whether good or bad, and these choices have lasting consequences in our lives. What is most important though, are the lessons drawn from such choices that make us who we are today. I am not afraid to be selfish and at the same time be selfless in my life. I will consider what is best for me at the same time what is best for others. If letting someone go, though painfully is best for them or me, then at some point it makes more sense than hanging on to something that will bring more harm than good. Considering all possibilities and outcomes know when to be selfish and selfless in your decisions and don’t ever be afraid to do what is best for you. However, as I earlier alluded never use people to further your selfish ambitions, use things instead.

7.      Don’t be too harsh on yourself, give incubation time to hatch, it adds to the bigger picture

When I decided to pursue further studies instead of taking up the job offer, I was in agreement with myself that it was a long-term decision. I would have to be patient so that I would know if it was the best decision or not after a couple of years to come and never will it generate instant results. Having come to that conclusion, I think am on the right path as I can now connect the dots back which I didn’t have the benefit of doing when I was faced with the dilemma. Therefore, I urge you to give your decisions time to incubate and mature before you can assess and say you were right or wrong. I can’t tell you the exact period but what I know is that time will tell. When it feels right and happy for you know that you are on the right track. As I write this article am still wondering if it was the best decision and know that in as much as many would have had it other ways, where I am today is a true indication of the decisions and choices I have made in the past and continue to make. As the late Steve Jobs put it, we can never connect the dots going forward but more often it will be possible to connect them backwards. Everything we have been through is part of a broader picture, one that you can only see clearly when the painter is done with it. Thus, never be so impatient not to allow time for your decisions to materialize.

Finally, for those who are spiritual or believers of a superior being I will urge you to pray to your god for grace and wisdom to be able to see your decisions materialize as well as continue to consistently male wise decisions even in situations that seem unattainable. As I conclude this humongous article, I urge you all to read it critically, consider what applies to you, take up what best works for you and ignore what does not make sense to you. With that I hope and believe that you will be better placed to make the best decisions that take you closer to achieving your goals and living your purpose on this earth.

The Road to Self-Awareness; How Well do You Really Know Yourself?

When you show yourself to the world and display your talents you naturally stir all kinds of resentment, envy, and other manifestations of insecurity. You cannot spend your life worrying about petty feelings of others…….” Robert Greene 

In the midst of the entire social clamour that is facing most people today it becomes pertinent to ask some questions “Are you aware of yourself? What is your self-identity? Do you know who you really are? Looking at what is happening today I have come to believe that people who are brave enough to really dig deep and express their true self-awareness they get frowned upon.  In the world where probably everyone is seeking either to identify with something or someone, whether it is celebrities, lifestyle, brands of cars, fashion I mean name it all. People are busy running after that deal or contract, that relationship they feel that will actually determine who they become or what car they drive. For instance, look at the social media nothing trends, like some socialite either posting their nude photos, or actually sentiments that most people think they are far-fetched.

For instance, who remembers the tragedy that befell the famous Mirfat of Tujuane. In my opinion I seriously think everyone deserves a right to claim to be who they want to be without retaliation. However, judging from the reactions of the masses it seems a crime not to appease the egoistic expectations of those purporting to be the neigh Sayers (those who define opinion). After all we live in a crowd sourced identity society where the individual has no place of self-awareness but rather most likely agrees or identifies herself or himself with a particular group, tribe, race, social class or family name.

I wonder how many people would out rightly reply without patronizing anyone when simply asked, Who are you? Or what do you stand for? Matt (an executive with a Silicon Valley Company) unconsciously would engage in thoughts about his weekly frustrations at his company whenever he was on his way home alone. This would cause a lot of unexplained stress that led to monstrous headaches that threatened to burst his eardrums. It was until he became aware of the problems at work that he wasn't dealing with and started acting on them that the headaches ceased. This repeated itself whenever there was an issue disturbing him at work that he was not dealing with as expected.

Whereas this provides a typical example of how not to manage stress it reflects a bigger problem: Self-awareness. It is true that self-awareness- or lack- of it affects your career, health, relationships, emotions and success. Whilst some people might actually node and think they know themselves quite well, chances are when it comes to what really matters they don’t.

This was unveiled by Henry David Thoreau, in the 1800s. In search of what life was really about on this planet he disappeared and lived alone in a cabin in the woods, for two years, two months, and two days. This great desire to become self-aware revealed the most brilliant insight of all times on the human condition, he stated, “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.”

For sure, as far as your deepest feelings are concerned -the things that you so desperately want and fear –remain obscured in your subconscious. Therefore, the harder your mind has to work with dealing with your self-denial (things you are not willing to come to terms with). And such continued trend results in undue stress and worry, not to mention the life’s failures and bad business decisions you’ll eventually come to regret.

It is for this reasons that Self-awareness is significant. Remarkably, the way and need to become self-aware hasn’t really changed over the centuries. Surprisingly it is easy to understand, though it is far more difficult for some to achieve than others. In order to become self-aware one would probably need to understand or clearly identify the following.

1.      Know your ENVIRONMENT- you should be aware about where you live, work, hang-out most of the time or kind of people you surround yourself with. This will enable you to identify the resources, circumstances, or ideologies that underpin those you associate with.-Your Network determines your Net-worth.

2.      Know your PURPOSE- although it might take a while (a couple of years) or an extremely rational act like that of Henry David Thoreau or a conscious act like that of Matt. You need to understand who you are or your purpose or why something is happening. Therefore it is pertinent to understand yourself so that you make prudent decisions based on who you are, what you stand for, where you want to be.

3.      Know where to FOCUS (what you want): Knowing what you want to be, to achieve, or live for is a sure way to become self-aware. The people who have earlier identified what they wanted to be or do with their time have gone to achieve incredible things in life. For instance look at Bill Gates, Richard Branson, and Steve Jobs just to mention a few. The moment they came to the realization of what they wanted they worked day and night dedicating their time to what they wanted to achieve. Hence, they became more self-aware of their strengths and weaknesses and focusing their efforts to achieving their vision.

4.      Know when to ESCAPE: Last but not least know when to escape. It is prudent to know when to stop and re-assess your progress, or when to break away from the crowd in order not to lose your self-identity. It is dangerous to stay a minute longer in a ‘group mind’, relationship or work place more than what is necessary. By escaping you give yourself a chance to work on your self-awareness. That way you are able to build your own brand.

Lastly, just know that as soon as you begin to deal with issues in real time instead of postponing over and over, the sooner your stress-and monstrous headaches- will vanquish and your life will get a lot more tolerable. And for sure this is something you will have to do on your own. 

©William Murithi 2014