Greetings my
friends and foes alike, I hope that all is well and you have prospered in at
least an area in your life that has brought you closer to achieving your goals
in life. It has been a while since I last posted an article on this blog.
I have had a
rather fulfilling experience for the last eight months that has enabled me to
learn great lessons in life. As I advance in age so do my years of experience
double up on earth. What is weird though is the rather intersect of
possibilities and probabilities of what could happen in a period of time, in
the short-term or long-term. Not so long ago, I was considering my next move
after a fulfilling year abroad studying for my MSc. As flourishing as it
looked, I was hard pressed to resolve and strategize on my next step. In the
process of figuring out what to do, as always I was busy searching for possible
opportunities in the industry as well as furthering my studies. All in all, I can say after days of grilling myself
I have come to appreciate the process of decision making. I have not done this
once, twice but many times, and every time I have had to make a decision I do
so with a lot of considerations and inquiries.
Owe unto me,
my self-proclaimed perfectionist and optimistic nature have come to terrorize
my sober mindedness and placed me into collusion with my heart’s desires so
many times that I wonder if I’m a time bomb waiting to explode any time.
Occasionally life if not fate-of which I disagree with surrendering your
destiny to either- throws to you a few challenges and opportunities alike to
test either your determination or resolve to stay the course of your purpose.
To my attestation I couldn’t agree more as my resolve, patience and above all
focus has been tested a number of times. To borrow from my belief there is no testimony
without a test, or success without an exam, or a champion without a race or a
winner without a challenge and the list can go on and on. However, what I’m
grateful about is that at the end of the tunnel I have seen some light which
has acted as my foresight into the future steps.
In a midst of
all my ups and downs, experiences and successes I would like to share some of
my acquired beliefs when it comes to making decisions in life. From as easy as
getting that new pair of shoes, what course to study and even that marriage
proposal, you might or will need to think of this.
1. Never use People Instead use Things,
Looking back
to where my journey begun I cannot trace it to a single action but a series of
tried and failed actions that made me resilient (some say am stubborn). I have consistently
searched for opportunities and sometimes never shy away from expressing my future
desires. What this has actually enabled me to be proactive, consistent, and
finally be on the driver’s seat when it comes to my future. Though it has not
been all smooth I appreciate the fact that I took charge of my destiny and
whether I succeed or not I will never blame anyone or regret an ounce. Also, I
haven’t been devoid of spectacle as I have rubbed some shoulders the wrong way
and even been threatened to some extent but all in all I have humbly
acknowledged my mistakes and asked for forgiveness where I overstepped my
mandate. Note that, whatever works for you go for it but consider other peoples’
feelings. As much as you want something ever use people to
get what you want, instead use things, knowledge, your mind and resources to
accomplish your mission.
2.
Create
opportunities don’t give in to fate
Always I have
been determined to create as many opportunities as possible so that when it
comes to making a choice at least I can have the upper hand of choosing what is
aligned with my career not the other way round. Someone said if you don’t work to achieve your dreams
someone else will hire you to help them fulfill theirs. Besides that,
ensure that you don’t succumb to fate but rather be the force that determines
your destiny. If the late Mandela would have let fate take its course then he
would have rotten in prison and long forgotten to fate. However, he steadfastly
continued to be on the driver’s seat inside the four walled prison and made
choices that enabled him overcome the changes to prepare him reach his
destination. Fate occurs to the masses that surrender their self-determination to
the mean face of their myopic environmental circumstances. I urge you
to look beyond what your eyes can see and create deep desires within to
overcome your prevailing circumstances and focus on what you are capable of
achieving rather than what life dictates to you. For sure, you are the
determiner of your destiny.
3.
Engage
your brain-THINK!
One of the
biggest catastrophes for humans is to have a powerful organ at our disposal but
not use it when it is much needed. We possess the most powerful and progressive
organ called the brain. This is what
gives us human beings, an upper hand in comparison to other animals. However, in
as much as most people go to school for years in the name of acquiring
knowledge and skills majority never put it into use. I believe the brain has
the greatest ability to enable us to achieve our goals. One Dennis Okari,
founder and CEO ONFON media challenged us to set aside at least an hour of our
time a week to “THINK”. You would probably ask yourself why? I believe, people
who utilize their God given resource- THE BRAIN- which has a wealth of knowledge
and information, whether stored as data (in it raw form) or processed
information, will always be ahead of the game. From the great Isaac
Newton, Eistein to the likes of Bill Gates, Richard Branson and the likes,
thinking is paramount, second to breathing or eating. Therefore, I beseech you
to always engage your brain and make good use of the information, knowledge and
experience that is stored in it to navigate to your destiny
4.
Always
endeavor to dream whilst awake, not asleep.
While most
people dream when asleep I enjoy dreaming when fully awake, no not daydreaming.
I am an advocate and believer of dreaming while fully awake and not dead asleep
in the middle of nowhere. Have you ever wondered why most people don’t remember
what they dreamt about minutes after waking up from a dream? There can only be
one reason, because the dreams meant nothing to them, unless it was from a
higher being. Thus, my premise that if you have to dream make sure you do that while
you are wide awake, that way you will remember your dreams and work out on a
strategy to achieve your dreams as fast as possible. I always purpose
to dream while am awake not asleep.
5.
Seek
wise counsel, and then decide
One thing
that is weird about me is the ability to exhaust all avenues of possibilities
or/and get as much information as possible when making my decisions. My inquisitiveness
is a bit stretched to the extent of before answering questions I always seek
clarification as to what exactly is required. I have been faced with a catch 22
situation before as to very critical stages on deciding on the next move. Once
I remember I had a good job offer with my dream firm as well as a great
opportunity to further my studies abroad. In a midst of the sleepless nights
this gave me I sought guidance, opinions and possible answers to my crossroad
from friends, family, mentors, acquaintances and strangers alike, people who I
met for the first time. Someone would call be naïve but looking back now I am
grateful for I got honest and objective advice from my inquisitiveness. Therefore,
when faced with a hard decision to make seek as much counsel and information as
possible before making that big step.
However, it will be up to you to analyze, critic and chose what to adopt
when making that decision. You should never blame anyone for their advice or
opinions which you have willingly sought from them, after all the bark stops
with you.
6.
Draw
a Boundary Between Selfishness and Selflessness
To some
extent I have had to be very selfish when making decisions or choosing what to
do. This has been to the extent of letting go people and relationships that
have meant a lot to me. However, it is also worth noting I did this to protect
or allow them to make decisions that will be of benefit to their future and not
tied to mine. As much as to some extent I’m egocentric, I always think of most
of the people who have surrounded me. Once, I consciously choose not to allow
distractions emanating from family interfere with my focus. It
was hard to do it, but I understood well that as human beings we make choices whether good or bad, and these choices
have lasting consequences in our lives. What is most important though, are the
lessons drawn from such choices that make us who we are today. I am not
afraid to be selfish and at the same time be selfless in my life. I will
consider what is best for me at the same time what is best for others. If
letting someone go, though painfully is best for them or me, then at some point
it makes more sense than hanging on to something that will bring more harm than
good. Considering all possibilities and outcomes know when to be selfish and
selfless in your decisions and don’t ever be afraid to do what is best for you.
However, as I earlier alluded never use people to further your selfish ambitions,
use things instead.
7.
Don’t
be too harsh on yourself, give incubation time to hatch, it adds to the bigger
picture
When I
decided to pursue further studies instead of taking up the job offer, I was in
agreement with myself that it was a long-term decision. I would have to be
patient so that I would know if it was the best decision or not after a couple
of years to come and never will it generate instant results. Having come to
that conclusion, I think am on the right path as I can now connect the dots
back which I didn’t have the benefit of doing when I was faced with the
dilemma. Therefore, I urge you to give your decisions time to incubate and
mature before you can assess and say you were right or wrong. I can’t tell you
the exact period but what I know is that time will tell. When it feels right
and happy for you know that you are on the right track. As I write this
article am still wondering if it was the best decision and know that in as much
as many would have had it other ways, where I am today is a true indication of
the decisions and choices I have made in the past and continue to make. As the
late Steve Jobs put it, we can never connect the dots going forward but more
often it will be possible to connect them backwards. Everything we have been
through is part of a broader picture, one that you can only see clearly when
the painter is done with it. Thus, never be so impatient not to allow time for
your decisions to materialize.
Finally, for
those who are spiritual or believers of a superior being I will urge you to
pray to your god for grace and wisdom to be able to see your decisions
materialize as well as continue to consistently male wise decisions even in
situations that seem unattainable. As I conclude this humongous article, I urge
you all to read it critically, consider what applies to you, take up what best
works for you and ignore what does not make sense to you. With that I hope and
believe that you will be better placed to make the best decisions that take you
closer to achieving your goals and living your purpose on this earth.
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