Picture a fish-monger in a marketplace full
of raw fish, whether fresh or rotten? Do you smell the odor? Worse still, they
go through their duties cutting through the intestines without a slight care of
the scent emanating from this delicacy. Sometimes, I wonder whether those who
maraud as fish-eaters really understand the procedure to getting it on the
table. Even after eating their whole tilapia and licking their fingers all
through, finally realize their fingers are smelly. Come on, a fish-monger has
done the dirty work, why are you so hysterical. Anyway it’s simple, they are in
the business of SELLING FISH, while you, you eating that fish, you are SELFISH.
Indeed, this is proven beyond reasonable doubt, never been to the lake but
complain when you see the price of tilapia on the menu. Never bisected a fish,
but still complain when the tail is missing.
Sometimes I wonder is it that I'm that
selfish, have I really been generous with myself? My
heart? My thoughts, My resources? A quick flash back and boooooom, reality checks in. A myriad of emotions flow, almost a tear falls down my cheek (Not that am that emotional). What could I have done better? Did it really necessitate that reaction, what was I supposed to do? As I seat and ask these sticky questions, I realize that some moments have really made me a selfish being. However, there are other experiences that have revealed my generous side. Once and for all, I feel it’s time to set the record straight. All around me nowadays I see, smell, taste, hear and touch selfishness? Are we selfish beings by nature? Are we taught to be selfish? Do we become selfish by design? What really makes us selfish? see Top acts of Selfishness here.
heart? My thoughts, My resources? A quick flash back and boooooom, reality checks in. A myriad of emotions flow, almost a tear falls down my cheek (Not that am that emotional). What could I have done better? Did it really necessitate that reaction, what was I supposed to do? As I seat and ask these sticky questions, I realize that some moments have really made me a selfish being. However, there are other experiences that have revealed my generous side. Once and for all, I feel it’s time to set the record straight. All around me nowadays I see, smell, taste, hear and touch selfishness? Are we selfish beings by nature? Are we taught to be selfish? Do we become selfish by design? What really makes us selfish? see Top acts of Selfishness here.
Now, allow me to delve into the root of this
menace. Growing up as a kid was the best experience of my life. Imagine waking
up and looking forward to what the day had to offer. Without a damn care of
what’s happening to the world. Always, ecstatic to rush to school with your
lunch box exerting weight on your back in addition to the books that followed
you like your shadow. Man, nothing really was essential than meeting the hood
kids in the evening and getting down to a game of soccer or watching 4 o’clock
cartoon…..Johny Bravo, Donald duck,
Flinstones, Scoooby Doooby Dooooooo. I mean, in the whole world we cared
for nothing but friends, family and of course our enemies too. Remember those
friendship breakups that lasted minutes or days, long enough till your
proclaimed enemy acquired the latest model of bicycle, BMX? Then all the
accumulated anger just disappeared without a trace? Remember, the first time
your scolding neighbor’s dad or better still your dad walked in carrying a 14
inch colored TV set? Or the day your worst enemy acquired a PlayStation? As I remember in my childhood, enmity never
lasted past a certain limit. There were always reconciliatory opportunities
that went beyond the adult’s own sense of understanding.
However, this was the order of the day from January
till November. Then the month of
December came with all its intrigues and some unforeseen humiliation not forgetting the adrenalin rush that culminated to a big bash on Christmas Eve or a trip upcountry. I remember very well that we always looked forward to getting new stuff, clothing, shoes, presents, I mean everything that went with the Christmas celebrations apart from seeing a real Father Christmas (the one with a flying chariot dropping presents over the chimney).But I wonder how many houses had a chimney then, this would have been a blander if he was to drop by. If I can clearly remember every kid in the estate or should I say those lucky enough to have caring parents would run their mouths to spread the gospel of their new possessions, mostly right immediately an argument unfolded. They would narrate how their mum or dad had showered them with all the niceties as well as the overzealous promises that were on their way to fruition either from their parents, uncles, unties or in exception cases their maid’s sneaky boyfriend (Had to bring this up).
December came with all its intrigues and some unforeseen humiliation not forgetting the adrenalin rush that culminated to a big bash on Christmas Eve or a trip upcountry. I remember very well that we always looked forward to getting new stuff, clothing, shoes, presents, I mean everything that went with the Christmas celebrations apart from seeing a real Father Christmas (the one with a flying chariot dropping presents over the chimney).But I wonder how many houses had a chimney then, this would have been a blander if he was to drop by. If I can clearly remember every kid in the estate or should I say those lucky enough to have caring parents would run their mouths to spread the gospel of their new possessions, mostly right immediately an argument unfolded. They would narrate how their mum or dad had showered them with all the niceties as well as the overzealous promises that were on their way to fruition either from their parents, uncles, unties or in exception cases their maid’s sneaky boyfriend (Had to bring this up).
Needless to say, some of these arguments were
unwarranted for just some way to show off. I mean even our parents played the
game. Why would our parents work their sweat throughout the year to make sure
their kids had the best designs, toys or holiday get away, while you ate
chicken or chapos utmost twice a year? I bet you, this was a supremacy battle
between our parents. They wanted to show off, I am sure if a parent wanted to
find out what went on in their neighbor’s house they’d easily involve their kid
in a chit chat. This was actually manifested by the rate at which the so called
Greatwall black &white TVs disappeared in the estate. In a matter of months
most households had a Color TV in their sitting room tucked in a wall unit. If
I’d actually give a marketing advice to the Digital Migration team, STOP COURT
BATTLES, USE KIDS TO SPREAD THE DIGITAL MIGRATION IN THE ESTATE THROUGH A
COMMERCIAL. I think kids are more effective marketers for products, I mean how
much stuff do kids make their parents buy from the supermarket, and they even know
the best brands more than their parents who just look at the cheapest option.
Our
parent’s rivalry didn’t actually stop there. It was extended to the family;
hence sibling rivalry became order of the day. I mean, if you happen to be the
first born in a family of more than four siblings you will understand. There
was no notice to stop celebrating your birthday, nor getting a Christmas outfit
just after your 11th birthday, if you were lucky to have had that so
many. All over a sudden your younger siblings would incidentally attract all
the attention. Whatever, they said or did was the gospel truth and actions were
never questioned. In fact, you suffered the consequences for not been there to
look after your younger siblings. Mind you, at this age something was naturally
happening to your slender, less built body. Be it your croaking voice, bulging
shoulders, or chest, your growing forest in the middle of no terrain. I mean it
was like if the world and its inhabitants had colluded to clobber you with
embarrassment.
Remember the many nights you’d pretend to be
asleep while actually you were planning how to commit a treacherous crime the
next day. How many times you actually planned on disappearing from the face of
the earth without a trace. Just because you had actually broke a glass, torn
your uniform or accidentally lost money you were sent to buy oil or bread. All
because your friends’ game was too attractive to just pass-by. GFF, the 80's
and 90's were so much fun to grow in.
However, with or without their knowledge our
parents had really inculcated some selfishness in our arteries and young
brains. It really didn’t take much effort, because their actions either translated
into competition among siblings or with the hood kids on what your parents
could afford or not. Nothing went unnoticed even the slightest additions to the
flower gardens that sometimes were covered with cactus and grass. Needless to
say, shifting to an upmarket estate felt like taking a chartered plane to the
USA or England. This would be the talk of every kid notwithstanding their
interest.
Why did I narrate all this? Why have I wasted
my time in scribbling such a long narrative that will only be read halfway or
first and last paragraph if am lucky. Anyway no matter the situation, the truth
is all that’s happening today is as a result of these outrageous nonetheless
innocent actions by our “loving parents”. The world today is full of
competitive individuals seeking to outlive or outdo each other. Look at the
statistics, the number of nonperforming loans taken from the banks. The hefty mortgages
to buy that home better than your childhood
estate mate or friend. The rushed decisions to take your child to an international school at the age of 4 years to prove your status. The many broken marriages with estranged wives or husbands that are consumed by bitterness. Is this a coincidence? Does it stem from somewhere? I mean in some families see the court cases filed to dispossess others from their rightful or otherwise acquired inheritance. Look at the many witchdoctors’ advertisements cropping all over the place. Look at the unexplained if not ridiculous kidnappings involving lovers, families and relatives.
estate mate or friend. The rushed decisions to take your child to an international school at the age of 4 years to prove your status. The many broken marriages with estranged wives or husbands that are consumed by bitterness. Is this a coincidence? Does it stem from somewhere? I mean in some families see the court cases filed to dispossess others from their rightful or otherwise acquired inheritance. Look at the many witchdoctors’ advertisements cropping all over the place. Look at the unexplained if not ridiculous kidnappings involving lovers, families and relatives.
Where did we go wrong? What happened to the
society? I mean our girls and women are stealing our dads from their wives, our
fathers are flying all over the place with girls their daughters’ age, or their
best friend’s wives? All the young men losing their virginity, to women their
grannies or mothers’ age, all in the name of paper making, or chasing windward
dreams to a land of “Opportunities.”
What has befallen our people is it really
worth the hustles, bustles or even that pain from
realizing the losses. When
did we become this selfish? Is it in our blood lines, our genes, or just
carried over from our parents? I have come to appreciate one thing, though
sometimes we have to be selfish to accomplish some goals in life, also being
selfless can make one prosper. But for heaven’s sake where does one draw the line? How should we differentiate between the two? Have we lost it with a
silly act of innocence? Can we unlearn our acquired selfishness and be
objective towards our lives. Has life given us so many lemons until we forgot
what an orange tasted like?
As I end this, I still am faced with lots of
unanswered questions? Is selfishness a good thing, Is it worth it? God, help me
to see beyond my selfishness, enable me to steer away from my individualistic
bargain and be inclusive, considerate, and generous. As you saw the widow who
gave her whole or the time you fed thousands with five loaves and two fish of
bread. That’s what I want to be, give my whole and when I have food and am
hungry, always think about the thousands more who are hungry. I want to be selfless not selfish.
“ I believe It’s the rut we are in that blinds us from living an
objective Life, Live your life and not other people’s lives, Judge your actions
based on your set goals, not other people's achievements, and cut your coat
according to your size, not your EGO" William Murithi
© William
Murithi 2014
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